A Fighters Heart
by switchcatislove
Summary: It will take the most important man in Santana's life to help her to come to terms with who she is, and finally come out of the closet to her family.And have the courage to be who she is in the light of the day. Original character .
1. Chapter 1

A Fighters Heart

A/N: This is my first fanfic, I am a brittana shipper. I've had this story on my mind I just have to try. So review please, Constructive Criticism is welcomed. Multiple Chapter hopefully.

(Lopez Residence)

We are met with a torn and broken appearing Santana Lopez alone in her bedroom, of the large Lopez home. Santana Lopez has been on the journey of discovery the past few months since her junior year has ended. Without her constant vision of love Brittney surrounding her each day, she has had the time to understand who she is and who she wants to be. With all this time she has finally decided to tell someone besides Brittney she is a lesbian. And a family member if you can believe that, the person she has decided to tell is her brother Cristian.

Now not many people know about Crist (pronounced like its spelled not Christ). Santana's brother seven years older than her was sent to military school at age ten, but fully willingly. Crist graduated military high school and then joined to the Marine Core. In 2009 he was deployed to Fallujah, Iraq. Now Santana and Cristian have been very close writing letters to each other and hanging together each time he visited home from school. With the distance their parents have showed them physically and emotionally they really only had each other. So they remained close even with his deployment to Iraq.

(Santana's POV)

My brother Cristian is scheduled to return home in week in the 16th of October. But I decided I wanted to write him this letter before he got here as motivation I guess to return to me safe, because I need him so very much right now. It's only a week I pray every day he just gets home safe. Gosh I've been crying all summer while gathering up the courage to write this letter to him. I love my brother so much I think he will understand who I am and accept me, but I can't be sure.

Well here goes nothing….

Dear Cristian,

It's San and I miss you so much, I wish you were here right now even though I know you will be home soon. As you know I just started my senior year, unlike you I still don't know what I want to do when I graduate. But I know I'll figure it out soon. I've written you today because I have something to tell you that are extremely important to me. It is a secret I have recently discovered that I need to tell someone, and you are the most important person in my world and I need you to know. Crist I have been thinking about this for almost a year now and it's really been troubling me. For the past few months I've come to realize that I am a lesbian. Crist I know that for sure now and the only person that knows is Brittney my best friend because I love her. We would be together but I have not come out to anyone and she deserves everything and I can't give that to her yet I'm just so scared. You know how mom and dad are; and I just need some support from you. Crist you are my best friend and I just want to know if you're ok with this.

Love Santana,


	2. Chapter 2

A Fighters Heart Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for all the alerts, I'm glad you like the story so far and I hope I don't disappoint. So **Please Please** **review**, Constructive Criticism is welcomed.

(Lopez Residence)

The Lopez's dining rooms where Santana is finishing homework Saturday morning.

(Santana's POV)

It's been crazy since school started with my senior year with Brittney, and me waiting for Crist's response. Oddly enough Crist had not written back since I wrote him last week; I guess he wants to tell me his response in person. God I hope he is not freaking out waiting to tell mami and papi about me. Well its Saturday I've got to go pick up Crist in about an hour and a half at 11:00 and I'm anxious. Just as I am finishing my papi comes down to talk to me before I get Cristian.

"Morning hija" Alejandro Lopez states upon seeing his daughter.

"Morning papi"

"So when are you going to pick up Crist at the airport?"

I'm actually about to leave, you know since it in Columbus. I want to get their early."

"Yea I've got to leave now to hija; there was an accident on the freeway the need an extra hand. Tell Crist I'm sorry we can't all be there since your mother had that meeting all day to. "

"That's ok I'm sure he will understand, I mean he's only coming back from his first tour in Iraq." Santana says sarcastically.

"Santanita, He's my son if I could be their I would be. You don't think I want to be their; they need me at the hospital it's my job."

"I know it's your job, but it's also your job to be there for your kids! The only time we ever see you are when we go to the hospital to visit you, it's ridiculous! Is that what it takes for us to bond?"

"Santanita! you don't understand what your mother and I do to support this family, we work to support you and give you everything you need."

"Ok, whatever I have to go." Santana says rushing past her father, and grabbing her purse to leave.

"We WILL finish this conversation when you get home this evening Santanita." Alejandro yells as his daughter who slams the front door leaving.

Columbus, Ohio Airport-Military Wing

After a two hour drive to Columbus I've had time to calm down since confronting my papi before I left. Thank god I don't want to upset Crist when he gets off the plane. The plane landed about ten minutes ago, oh now they've started letting us go to see them exit. Oh their he is!

"Cristian! Crist! "

She can barely see him through the crowd of reunited family's.

But theirs Cristian, in his marine uniform, he's over 6 feet and short pitch black hair with big chocolate eyes and olive skin the same as Santana's. Smiling ear to ear and yelling back he calls her out.

"Tana, Tana! "

Crist drops his bags and picks up his little sister, as she starts to cry.

Muffled by her tears and his marine jacket, Santana speaks.

"I missed you so much, I love you."

"Hey now don't cry, I missed you to Tana I love you to… (He says giggling)

(Crist puts her down and looks her straight in her bloodshot eyes saying) Know matter what always...I got your letter."

Looking down from his loving stare, the corners of her lips turn up into a small smile as she begins wiping away her tears.

"Ok. I was thinking I would take us out to eat at Breadsticks, you can sleep on the way, I know you're tired. And then we can catch up."

"Sounds good to me, let's get going"

With his hand around her shoulder they begin walking to her car.

Breadsticks restaurant, Lima. Two hours later.

After changing into civilian clothing Crist sits down across from Santana at their booth (Santana's favorite specifically).

"You get enough sleep on the way back."

"Yea I feel better already, but I'm starving; how about you?"

"I am always ready to eat at the sticks, you know that."

"Oh yes your favorite… so you umm ever bring Brittney here, just the two of you?

Santana looks down smile slowly fading.

"Look at me Tana, listen… when I got your letter and read it I was a little shocked. Then after like a minute I realized, I knew all along."

"What, How? Why didn't you tell…?"

"Tana, I hadn't really realized before either. And even if I did that's something you have to come to find out on your own, however hard it may be."

"Oh…ok"

Cristian takes hold of Santana's hands and looks into her brown orbs saying.

"Listen I need you to realize that I love you unconditionally, and NOTHING can ever change no matter how far away I am. And most importantly that I am so proud of you for being so strong; it must have been so hard."

"Crist it was crazy I realized late last year, and it took me the whole summer to get the courage to tell someone. It hurts so bad to be hiding from everyone, I just ache sometimes."

"Tana I don't want you to feel like that…"

"I know but what will happen if I tell Papi and Mami, they will disown me and you know it."

"No No! Tana we will tell them together whenever you decide you are ready to and ill help them to understand. They may not show it but they love both of us even if they do in it an odd way."

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do amore." Crist responds as they share a loving smile. A waitress appears to take their order. "Now let's eat."

By the time they are both done eating their food its 9:00, they leave the restaurant to head home to see their parents.

"Well that's was great Tana, thanks for taking me out."

"Of course. I'm sure Mami and Papi will want to take you out tomorrow, but you know how they like those nice, uptight rich people restaurants with weird food."

"Yea and there's nothing better than spending time with you."

As Santana unlocked the doors they took seat in the car and began the drive home listen to the stereo. As Glee Clubs Nationals mix tape began playing…

"Hey what is this song…. Is, is that you?" Crist asked with open eyes

"Yea it's our recording the AV club made from nationals last year. See we wrote original songs and I wrote Light up the world this one."

"Tana! That's awesome you guys should have won, those white kids trippin cosas malas. What you said they kissed on stage. What they couldn't wait?"

"Yes they are nuts, but glee club is a lot of fun I really like it."

"Brittney's in it with you right?"

Crist says as they come to a stoplight at an intersection, when the light finally turns green Santana begins to respond and pull into the intersection.

"Oh yea, she's an amazing dancer she's gona be greatness one….."

"Out of the darkness beyond Crist passenger's side door a large trunk surges through the intersection heading straight toward them."

"SANTANA WAIT!" Crist yells, as Santana slams on the breaks but ….it's too late."

**A/N:** Yep Cliffhanger. My updates should be expected each Saturday, unless I get super busy. Please Review Review! I'm new to this and I want to know if I'm doing ok, and if you like it.


	3. Chapter 3

A Fighters Heart-Fan fiction Chapter Three

**A/N:** Theme Music- I suggest Listen while reading.

Evanescence-My Immortal/ .com/watch?v=82v0kX95EY0

**Please Please Review**

(The scene of the Crash)

Crist is the first to awake, still in the car and disorientated he can first tell that the car had flipped, but is upright. Without turning his head he looks to his right and can see Santana not sitting in her seat; instead hunched over the steering wheel eyes closed. He can see the driver side window has blood in it and is broken. He groans out loud and try's to move, but as he looks to move his arm a debilitating pain rushes his abdomen. He looks down to see the left side of the car is crushed in on him, and a piece of metal from the door is lodged into his abdomen just below his ribs. Soon the sounds of people speaking fill his senses. A crowd has gathered around the intersection to help. Crist begins groaning loudly as people pear through the window trying to help.

"Heeellpp sissstura…. HEELP!"

His yells grow louder as the pain in his abdomen grows worse. He begins to hear the sounds of an ambulance and a fire engine in the distance, as it approaches he tries to get Santana's attention.

"Santana ….Santana, tana!"

Finally she responds…

" criss… criss" just barely responds in a hushed tone, eyes still closed.

A fire fighter arrives on Crist's side of the car and begins talking to him.

"Sir Can you hear me! Can you her me?" Fire fighter asked

Crist responds "yess help us" through the broken glass.

A paramedic arrives on Santana's side of the car and opens the door slowly. And then checks her position before putting a neck brace onto her. Santana eyes open as the paramedic, joined by another pulls her from the car and onto an ambulance gurney; her eyes filling with tears as she looks over to Crist.

The fire fighter responds to Crist saying, "We will have to use the Jaws of Life to remove the door before we can get you out."

A paramedic crawls into the driver's side and sees that a part of the door is inside Crist's abdomen. He says," Listen what's your name sir?"

"Crist" he whispers in pain.

"Listen Crist I'm going to slowly pull that small piece of metal out of you abdomen. But before I do I'm going to give you a shot to relieve some of the pain ok."

After nodding his head, the paramedic gives him the shot and pulls the piece of door from his abdomen; Blood begins flowing from his abdomen. And then the Firefighters appear again with the Jaws of Life, he begins cutting the door from its connecting hinges. The door is taken away by a group of firemen; two more paramedics arrive with a gurney to remove Crist from the accident.

Once Inside of the ambulance the medic begins treating his wound and speaks to Crist. "Listen your sisters already on her way to Lima Memorial, I know your father is on staff but I've warned him of the two of your arrival. He won't be attending to you but I'm sure he will be their ok."

"How is she? "

"We will not know much until we get to the hospital; but she was awake and responsive when we pulled her out. Just worry about you, we will do our best, don't close your eyes. We are almost there."

**Lima Memorial Hospital**

Alejandro Lopez, white sprinkled dark hair, dressed in his scrubs and white coat is yelling at his coworkers…

"You have to let me treat my kids, you can help but I have to be in that room!"

The Chief of surgery responds "Ale you cannot be in that room it's against Hospital policy we will give you updates, you are to close to them; let us do our job. We will do our best trust us Ale."

"Fine, fine just don't lose them I can't lose them." He responds quietly.

Just then the door of the emergency entrance open as Santana is being wheeled strapped to the gurney she is met by her father and a team of doctors.

"Santanita, its papi I'm here you going to be ok. You mami is on her way ok, Can you hear me?"

"Yes papi" she responds quietly. "Where is Crist?"

"He is on his way ok, they're going to take you to a room now I'll be there to see you as soon as I see how Crist is ok."

She lightly nods her head yes and is wheeled away to her room.

As the doctors asses Santana they discover she has multiple broken ribs, a large cut across the left side of her head, seriously broken left arm and a sprained neck. While they are working on Santana; Crist is brought in.

Ale sees his son and immediately realizes that he is critical condition. He is intubated and the medics have gauss covering his abdomen; his condition worsening during the ride over. The medics talk with the surgeons realizing he will need emergency surgery. With Ales Permission they wheel him away to be prepped for surgery.

**1hr 20min later**

The surgeons working on Crist have come to Santana's hospital room where she is awake and recovering with her mother and father sitting by her bed side.

"Excuse me?"

Ale stands and responds "How is he, how is my son?"

"During the surgery, we found a long thin piece of metal from the car lodged inside of his abdomen. It is inside of his liver, and unfortunately we cannot remove it due to its location. . ."

Maria, Santana's mother, begins crying laying her head on Santana's lap.

"….You know how sensitive the liver can be to, and we just can't remove the metal without immediately killing the organ. I'm so sorry. He only has a few hours until the liver shuts down completely."

"So is he awake" Santana responds quietly.

"Yes, you can go see him he is at in a recovery room. But please let me examine your arm first it will need surgery later Santana; then I will wheel you into Crist room. It will only take a few minutes."

"Ok Tana we are going to go check on your hermano, we will see you in a minute." Her mother says to her quietly kissing her on her cheek.

"Ok tell him I will be their soon." She responds with heavy tears in her eyes.

After getting checked out Santana is wheeled into Crist's room.

"Hey mija, here come sits by your brother." Her mother says tears flowing, getting up from his bedside.

A nurse rolls Santana, who's in a wheel chair, beside her brother's bedside. Tears begin to form in her eyes glued to her brothers breathing mask covered face, no longer intubated.

As her mother and father stand move standing at the end of the bed her father speaks.

"Mija your mother and I are going to get some coffee from the lounge so you can be alone with him; we will be right back. Cristian te amo mi hijo. {I love you my son.}

Maria Lopez looks into her sons quiet eyes and whispers to him, holding onto his legs she speaks.

"Te amo mi bebe, te amo, te amo mucho." {I love you baby, I love you very much}

She repeats crying and slightly shaking; as ale puts his arms around her they move from the room.

AS they leave Santana takes her brothers hand in hers and look at him deeply in the face as if having a silent conversation.

Before leaving the African American nurse standing by the door speaks quietly.

"Talk to him, it will help."

"Thank you I will." Santana responds quietly.

The nurse then leaves shutting the door quietly leaving them alone.

Santana speaks to Crist, "Hey Crist I love you, and you can hear me right?"

Crist moves slightly to her side his head, looking at her in the eyes he begins to talk quietly.

" Tana I love you, I'm.. cant … it hurts…

"Hey its ok you don't have to say anyth..

"No…. tana I have to tell you,I love you sooooo much and I'm not gona make it…come here can you?"

Santana slowly get up out of her chair wincing at the pain in her ribs and right arm. She lies right by him on his hospital bed with his head tucked safely under the pit of her arm. Once settled he begins to speak softly.

"When I'm gone I need you to love you as much as I do and then some, you're amazing. Always remember I will be watching you and my love for you will never stop."

Santana holds onto his face with her hands bringing it closer to hers; rivers flowing down her face as her body aches with the realization.

"Forever ill love you… I just , I don't know.." she respond shaking with tears.

Crist begin his voice a few bars lower than before "look at me… Look at me … you and me were connected by our hearts I'ma fighter, and so are you Tana… so are you. We got this fighters heart and I need you to promise me you will use it." Crist barely gets out as he begins to cry softly.

Halting her tears monetary focusing in on him she speaks hushed words on for him.

"I will I will I promise Cristian I promise. It will be ok I know. I'll never forget you, you know that."

I think im dying now?" Crist responds.

Breathing slowly Santana responds "Yes but you not alone, I'm not going anywhere."

Crist moves his hand from his sides and clasps his arms around Santana; his breathing swallowing, slow heart beating in time with hers he says his last words with his last breath.

"Tana I love you, I'll see you."

Slowly his eyes looked up to the ceiling, frozen in time. The moment set in stone. His breath stopped and all movement, dead. Then reality set in as the monitor began to blaze in Santana's ears. As she lay clinging to Crist lifeless body, her parent's, doctors, and nurses rushed into the room. A heartbreaking moan is heard over the monitor and the ruckus of Maria Lopez. As for Santana Lopez the time just stops.


	4. Chapter 4

A Fighters Heart- Chapter Four

**A/N:So sorry for the long wait, I just needed to think this through so the best I could and then it kinda got lost for a week with finals here it is. Review Review please**

Reread last chapter if needed.

**Theme Music- I suggest listen while reading.**

Running Up the Hill – Placebo

* * *

><p>Lima Memorial Hospital<p>

Monday the evening of Crist death.

Santana awoke to the white lights above her, a calming silence surrounding her. Their she lies in the hospital room awakening alone, numbness throughout her whole being for the moment. There is a battle within her whether she should stay still, go back to sleep and pray for a better reality to awake. Or be the wiser and deal with the blood boiling heartache that is her present. One voice rings in her ears making the impossible decision for her, making her question if she really had a choice in the first place. It's his voice…. (We've got this fighters heart Tana.) He said with his dying breaths. She rises slightly putting her back against her pillows; reaching to the side of her bed she pushes the nurse-call button. Two minutes later the same nurse from the night before emerges by her bedside from the door.

"Morning Hun" she begins with a somber tone. "Can I check you wounds for you, only if that's ok."

Santana responds looking her deep in her chocolate eyes with a weak, appreciating grin. "Of course yes, do you know where my parent's ar…., oh yea their making arrangements right?"

Stepping closer to her bed sitting down next to the right side of her bed, holding onto her fragile hand she responds.

"Your father is out making arrangements, but you mother went home to get you some clothing and she said she was calling your grandmother so she could be here early and other family."

Santana nods understanding.

"I'm so sorry about Cristian; he is the brightest boy I've ever seen, and an amazing young man."

Anna Mae Robins had been a nurse since Alejandro Lopez had started at Lima Memorial so she grew up knowing the family. She would always watch them at the nurses' station when they came to visit their father at the hospital.

"Me too, Thank you so much, Auntie Anne." Santana responds tears forming in her eyes.

"Listen to me now, the doctors have said you will have to stay here for two more nights. You have been scheduled for surgery for your arm tomorrow evening at five. Then by Thursday you will be released. But the police have the man who hit you in custody; it turns out he was heavy intoxicated. The police have a few questions for you and your mother when she gets here, do you think you will be ready to talk to them?"

"Yes, as long as my mami is their I think I will be ok."

"Ok well Hun I'm going to get you some lunch so you can get some energy I know how tired you must be.

"Thank you so much."

After Anne Mae leaves, Santana begins to think about the nights events. She doesn't know where to begin to begin to put her life together from here. Crist was the rock she had, the anchor and hope of her life and in just a few hours he was ripped from her life. She can't help but think if it's her fault maybe that God wouldn't have taken him away if she wasn't gay. She just wishes she could take back all of the nights events, if only she could go back in time she would change everything if it would bring her brother back.

She feels a deep pain in her chest and abdomen, but she knows it's nothing medically wrong. Her right hand comes to her face which is drenched in tears she hadn't realized had been flowing. She moves onto the right side of her body getting into the fetal position trying desperately for the pain to go away. And she kept crying weeping for her brother to somehow return to her giving her the strength she desperately needed.

That evening Santana's parents returned and spoke with the police about the drunk driver. They pressed charges against the driver 33 year old man who was drunk driving when he ran a stoplight, hitting Santana's car, killing her brother Cristian Lopez.

The next day after awaking from her Successful left arm surgery she is greeted by a familiar face.

* * *

><p>Wednesday 8:00pm Lima Memorial Hospital<p>

With an ache and a growl Santana is awaked by a faint breathing on her stomach. Opening her eyes she has a headache and her arm is sore. Remembering the surgery she moves up slowly, waking up whoever is on her. She looks down slowing to a head of golden hair flowing from the face of what can only be described as an angel. Her eyes opening slowly showing her ocean blue eyes finally connecting with brown ones; but slowly the brightness fades and tears begin to growing in the eyes.

"Hey Britt how are you…Hey hey don't cry, no tears please. It's ok." Santana says to a teary eyed Brittney.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry san I'm so, so sorry about Crist. My mom heard the new on the news on the TV; and called your mom she told us what happen and I just I just can't believe it."

"Britt …. Its ok, its gona be ok. I know it's crazy but I also know that he will always be with me and love me."

Brittney just stairs into her big brown moon like eyes, looking at the hope and fear and uncertainty in them. Then she speaks again, starting slowly.

"Did he know… San?"

Santana responds slowly to Brittney's questions lowering her head in thought.

"I actually told him…. In a letter while he was in Iraq and told him"

"What did he say?"

Looking up at her and responded tears beginning. "When I picked him up we talked and he told me he I loved me and that he didn't care as long as I was happy. He was amazing ….." (She gets quite for a second before lowering her head then meeting her eyes again) "He was perfect! And said he loved me no matter what it wasn't even a question!" She cries out to Brittney while begging to cry loudly.

Brittney climbs onto the bed cradling her in her arms and speaks to her. "I know honey and I love you to I'm not going anywhere I love you so much Santana" She continued to hold her as she cried until they both fell asleep together, wrapped up in a caring embrace.

A/N: The funeral is next, I promise the next update will be much sooner. As always please review Review!


	5. Chapter 5

A Fighters Heart- Chapter Four

Part Two/ Theme Music- I suggest listen while reading.

Avril Lavigne- When Your Gone .com/watch?v=nBYr3V2dp_c

"If there is ever tomorrow when were not together….. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is even if were apart… I'll always be with you.

Lopez Residence

Santana was finally out of the hospital back home in her room holding the marine portrait of her brother to her chest. It was Friday, the day before his funeral, and Santana was home with her mother awaiting the arrival for her father and grandmother from the airport, when a knock comes from her door.

"Yes, come in" Santana calls out

Her mother slowly enters her room light makeup streaming down her tear stained face. She walks to the edge of Santana's bed where she sits down.

"Morning tana , how is your arm feeling?"

Santana moves up on the bed, sitting down the picture. Her left arm is in a purple cast that extends to the middle of her bicep.

"It still hurts and it comes and goes the medicine helps. When will abuela and papi get here?

"They should be here any minute."

"And umm… what time do we leave tomorrow?"

"Well it will begin at one, but the military escort will arrive at 12:30 to take us to the church. Ill wake you up ok."

"Yea ,thanks mami."

"Listen I don't know how you're feeling about everything, and I can't imagine. I know you held him when he passed …. Did he say anything?"

"oh of course I'm sorry I haven't told you yet…he just said he loves all of us so much and that he will always be with us know matter what, he loves you and papi so much."

Maria Lopez lowers her head her lips pressed and jaw clenched, clearly fighting back tears. But they win as tears begin lightly flowing.

"Thank you so much Santana." Her mother responds. Then leaning over hugging Santana tightly, whispering in her ear. "I'm so blessed you are ok, I love you so much mi mija."

"I love you to mami."

Just as the words leave her mouth they each hear the front door open.

"Let's go see abuela ok."

They walk down stairs and are met with her father's mother, and her father.

After greeting her father and grandmother, Maria Lopez goes into the kitchen to make her family some lunch leaving Santana and her abuela alone.

"Mi amore, come here baby"

"Hi grandma it's nice to see you"

They hug each other in a tight comforting embrace.

"Oh you to baby, I'm so sorry you had about all of this. Here let's sit on the couch"

Moving to sit on the couch, Santana sits with her head in her abuelas shoulder.

"Listen I know tomorrow is going to be an extremely trying time, but you have to remember that Cristian will be there with all of us ok."

"Yes, I know. It's just so hard he was just here, and now he's gone and no one will no…. No one…"

"No one what? Baby"

Just now realizing what she said Santana raises her head looking her in the eyes.

" Just that that he said he cared so much about me."

Her grandmother gives her an odd look.

"Of course we all know how much he loved you; well I know at least he wrote to me and how much he missed all of you."

Santana nods her head.

"Now babes go upstairs and rest up that arm needs to start healing and you heart can begin tomorrow. I'll call you down for dinner ok."

Lopez Residence –Saturday 12:35pm Day of the funeral

It's the morning of the funeral and the Lopez family has gathered in front of their living room waiting for the military limousine to come and escort them to the funeral home. Just then Alejandro Lopez stands up dressed in his black suit and looks outside the large windowed and sees two Marines in their blues march toward the front door. A knocking is at the door; Alejandro walks to the door opening it. The Lopez women on the couch rise including Santana and walk slowly to the door and are guided by the marines to a White limonene in front of their house. They all clime in the back of the car with her father entering last, the car begins moving on their way to the church.

Upon arriving at the church they wait until 1:00 to enter the church the family always enters last to view the body and take their seats. Once the time has arrived the marines driving the limo lower the separating window and speak to them.

"It is time to begin would you now like to enter the building or do you want to take a few more minutes, it is no problem."

After checking with each member nodding his head Ale responds, "We are ready."

The marine nods and raises the mirror.

The door is opened and there is a line of four marines standing in front of the church to great them. The first to exit the limousine is Alejandra who helps everyone out. Then they get in a line Alejandro escorts his wife first, and then a marine whose nametag reads "Scotts" escorts Santana, lastly a marine nametag reads "Robinson" escorts his grandmother. Two marines open the doors to the as they enter slowly into the church. The funeral is packed and each person rises as they move down the aisle to the frond view the body.

The church is full of faculty members from school, friends of the family, the entire glee club is there, and finally she sees Brittney and the pierces a few rows behind the front, whom she gives a slight nod to. Santana raises her head to look in front of her she sees flags on each side of a white casket, one American the other of Puerto Rican. And the large military picture of her brother beside the casket, and a stand with his name on it that reads (Cristian Alejandro Fernando Lopez) (2/7/1987- 10/17/2011) she stumbles slightly once she sees his pale olive face pocking from the casket. But she is steadied by the strong hand of the marine holding her right arm. As they approach the casket she can hear her mother begins to weep and place her hand on her sons folded hands. He lays peacefully in his final bed dressed in his dress blues his hands in his white gloves. Her mother leans down to press a final kiss upon the cheek of her son tears flowing, and says she loves him and her father does the same. They then make move over for Santana and her grandmother.

Santana then steps to the casket seeing him she breaks and begins to cry… cry hard and she says "I miss you, I love you. Her grandmother and father hold her as they move to take their seats in the front row. She sits down between her father whose arm is around her holding her to his chest tightly and her mother. They preacher then takes the podium and beings speaking.

After the church service is over they are once again escorted out of the church, where there is a large line of police vehicles, fire trucks from the Lima fire department, and motorcycles with flags on them. They stand in front of their limo as a group of six marines enter the church to receive the casket and put it into the white hearse. They march out holding the casket and place it slowly into the hearse, after which they all salute. Lance Corporals Robinson and Scotts finishes saluting and then open the door to the limo letting the Lopez family enter. Then the Funeral Procession begins.

The Procession begins with a lead police car lights on, after two more police cars side by side, then the motorcycles and Fire trucks. After that the hearse drives through the streets with the limo following behind them. Then those that filled the church follow in and endless line.

They finally arrive at the cemetery where they are escorted to the casket and the blue chairs in front of it, were the family sits along with a few cousins and aunts, a crowd gather around them as the military begins paying tribute. First Seven marines stand beside and in front of Crist's American flag draped casket and in unison salute as taps is played everyone standing. Then Lance Corporals Robinson and Scotts approach the casket where they each salute and begin to raise the flag over the casket and being folding it in a triangle. As they are folding the flag seven marines march in to background and begin the twenty one gun salute, one including Crist's sergeant. After the flag is folded and the shots fired; Sargent Carrington, Lance Corporals Robinson and Scotts who served with Crist in the military approach the Lopez family. First the Sgt. Carrington takes the flag and on one knee bows to Maria Lopez placing the flag in her arms saying.

"On behalf of the United States Military I would like to thank you for your son's service and give my deep condolences for this loss. Cristian was one of the finest men I've ever met and solider it was my honor to have served with him."

After that he rises and salutes them and marches to the head of the casket. Once he has gone, Lance Corporals Robinson and Scotts march in front of Santana where she is sitting next to her grandmother. They each bow and their knees, Lance Corporal Robinson presents Santana with Cristian marine pendant, while Lance Corporal Scotts presents her with Cristian dog tags. Lance Corporal Scotts then speaks to her.

"On behalf of the United States marine I would like to thank you for your brother service and it is our honor to have served with Cristian thank you."

They then rise and salute and march away, Santana begins crying as she holds her brothers items. Once the funeral is over every one slowly leaves and the Lopez are then escorted home in the limousine.

Please Review!


	6. Chapter 6

A Fighters Heart- Chapter five

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Theme Music- I suggest listen while reading.

watch?v=tI69SqWaqwU

Switchfoot –Only Hope

Airplane-Flight in route to Puerto Rico / Wed after the funeral

The Wednesday after the funeral Santana's abuela needed to go home so the whole family decides it would be good for them to speed a week away in Puerto Rico to help heal with their extended family.

Santana Lopez sat in row 5B between her father and her Abuela only two hours into a four hour flight, Santana is restless so she puts in her I pod to try to relax. But that plan goes out the cramped southwest windows as Landslide by Fleetwood mac begins playing, her thoughts quickly drift to the captivating blonde she's left alone in Lima if only for two weeks. Guilt crawls up her back to into her heart in a similar way it has been the last few nights since the crash. Instead of continuing this pity party within her head she changes songs and drifts to sleep; while in the sky hoping they fly high enough to reach Crist in heaven because she knows that's the only place that could be close to good enough for him.

Arriving at her grandmother's home in San Jan is just as she remembers from summers before. The homes small Earth toned outer shell is welcoming with flags from both Puerto Rico and the United States. The inside walls hold dozens of pictures from all of the Lopez family cousins, aunts, her mother, father. She notices an old picture of herself hanging upon the wall with her long dark curls pulled into a pony tail and a bright red flowing dress because it's always been her color and only five years young. She makes her way down the hallway and into the guest room complete with sky blue colored twin beds she had shared with Crist since they were just toddlers. She sits her purse down on Crist's bed and sits on hers across form it, staring blankly out the window that hovers over the bed.

A short wrinkled faced older Latin woman appears behind slowly, her small, quiet footsteps creep up to her. But Santana notices nothing; the older woman softly sits next to Santana and speaks quietly.

"Santana…"

"Santana?"

"Santana Maria Valeria Lopez!" The Latina says once more with a deep conviction.

Santana finally snaps out of her eerie haze and looks into the eyes of her abuela with tear heavy eyes she leans into her side.

"I don't know what to do abuela; I just can't believe he is gone."

"I know mi amore, I kn.."

"Do you!" Santana sits up and screams at her abuela in a panic.

"How could you ever know what it's like to lose someone like I have? He was in my arms just moments before just talking and then for no reason he was taken from me. Not in Falluijah, not in Iran, or Quait, but on a small road in Lima.!"

Abuela rises slowly and forces the hands of her granddaughter into her own and looks her in the eyes. "Your Abuelo is the love of my life…. He always is and always will be, but he is dead, and has been for some time now. The pain in my soul was like nothing I've felt since and I can only compare it to the loss of my grandson."

"I do understand amore" She continues as she cups Santana's face in her palms.

Santana then sits down and onto the bed again and places her head in her hands and says "I'm so sorry abuela, I'm just so angry. I Thought I was sad before …"

Santana's abuela makes a knowing face and smirks sadly before sitting next to her once again.

"I have something for you mija" Abuela takes a small necklace out of her blouse pocket and hands it to santana.

Santana wipes her eyes with her sleeve.

Santana's abuela holds out a necklace in the palm of her hands.

Santana takes the small golden locket with a cross on the front between her fingers and she opens it.

"It was your grandfathers I gave it to him when we were engaged; I got a ring I thought he should have something to. Open it, read the inscription.

Santana slowly opens the locket and the inscription reads "Our love is a miracle"

Abuela speaks again, "Listen mija, I have loved throughout my life and the love of those around me has held me through the most painful times in my life. I want you to wear this so when you go home you know always how much Christ loves you, we all love you, and that we will never let you fall. You understand me Santana".

Santana raises her eyes, tears dried on her cheeks, and whispers, "always?"

Abuela raises her hands and cups Santana's cheeks and looks her in her brown orbs and says "always mi amore"


	7. Chapter 7

A Fighters Heart- Chapter Six

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Little bit of foul language in this chapter, not to bad really. Please review I think you will enjoy this chapter and the original characters I will re-introduce.

Face clam: John -Lucas Scotts-Channing Tatum/Jeremiah Robinson- Laz Alonso

**_Lopez Home- Lima Heights Adjacent _**

**_2 Weeks later _**

After returning home from Puerto Rico, the Lopez family spent the quiet weekend together reflecting preparing best they could for the workweek head that would be filled with questions, shy glances and awkward conversations.

**_**_**_Monday Morning_**_**  
><em>**

Just as Santana is putting on the final touches of her makeup in the mirror, Mrs. Lopez knocks lightly on her door frame.

"Hey san you almost ready to go?"

"Yea mom. Let me just get my backpack and finish up."

"Ok. Well I just wanted to tell you that today everyone is going to feel really sorry for you and they will show you great sympathy but just try and stay to yourself and say thanks because that's all I can do too."

Picking up her backpack and walking towards her mother, Santana says,

"I will mom, I'm going to just try to get through this week, it won't be easy."

Mrs. Lopez takes her arm and hooks it over her daughter's shoulders saying "Let's get this over with."

**_McKinley High_**

Maria Lopez drops Santana off at the door and tells her she loves her and she will pick her up later. Santana walks through the doors of McKinley and walks towards her locker to put her books away, just as principal Figgins walks up to her and quietly begins speaking.

"Miss. Lopez on behave of the entire McKinley staff I give my condolences for your loss, and if you need any assistance pleases do not fail to visit my office or Ms. Pillsbury's office." Principal Figgins says quietly.

"Thanks, umm I will."

"Have good day Miss Lopez."

After returning to her locker, Britney walks down the hallway towards Santana.

"Hey san." Britney whispers starting Santana out of her thoughts.

Santana glances shyly at Brit. "Hey Brit"

"I'm glad to see you back, how's your arm?"

"It hurts pretty badly but the medicine helps. The pain it comes and goes."

"And how are you otherwise?"

"I'm just trying to get through the day to tell you the truth."

"San I really don't know what to tell you to make you feel better."

"That's ok Brit neither do I; I think it will just take some time you know."

"Yes, I guess so but still text or call me if you need anything ok."

"I will Brit, I promise." Santana looks at Britney as she speaks. Britney envelops san in a warm hug, whispering in her ear. "I will see you later at glee club?"

"Ya, I'll see you." Santana smiles

_Later an hour before glee club_

After history class just as Santana walks slowly away from the classroom while ignoring the stars and glances. Hockey player Rick "the stick" blindsides her from her left bumping into her injured arm.

"Ouch! Watch out your ass, that hurt."

"Ohhh I'm sorry Lopez, maybe if you took drivers Ed you wouldn't be in this situation now would you. It's a damm shame your bro survived Iraq just to come home to be killed by your horrific driving." Rick says laughing.

Santana is stunned silent for once; she can't believe he said that. Just as she try's walking around him ricks expression turns cold and frightened. Santana feels a presence on each side of her, just as she goes to turn toward it, someone speaks out.

"I highly suggest you leave her alone before things turn very bad for you" one voice says.

"Yes, you will walk away now if you have any brains in your head." A different voice states.

Rick backs up slowly and walks away from the scene silently.

As ricks image wonders down the hallway the figures behind Santana walk in front of her into view.

"Sorry to startle you Santana, but I was not about to sit back and watch that asshole talk shit."

Two six foot tall marines are standing in front of Santana in full marine dress attire. Black suits and white caps. The first one that spoke is white with a baby blue eyes and short light brown hair, built like a brick. The second slightly taller African American with short black hair and soft brown eyes, with a calming sweet smile.

The blue eyed one speaks first removing his hat.

"Hi Santana, my name is Lieutenant John- Lucas Scotts of the United States Marine Core."

"Geese, Lucas no need for the credentials. My name is Jeremiah, sorry for about my brother, we haven't been home long."

"Your brother?" Santana responds.

"Well not by blood but..."

"Wait." Santana interrupts "I know you…from the funeral. What are you doing here?" Santana whispers.

"Santana we were hoping we could talk to you about Crist. We went to your house and talked to your mom and she said it would be ok if we came. Umm … it's just that we have some things to tell you and we were hoping we could take you out to lunch or for coffee to talk for like an hour maybe." John Lucas speaks.

"I guess that would be ok, I could defiantly use a break after that anyway."

"The Lima Bean sound ok?"

"That sounds nice to me."

"I'll go get the truck while you to sign out." States Jeremiah

"Ok we will meet you out there."

**Lima Bean**

Santana, John-Lucas and Jeremiah sat at a table by the window in the lima bean finishing their coffee and sandwiches.

"Thank you for the lunch guys and for saving me from rick." Santana says thankfully.

"Oh was that his name, no problem Tana." Lucas answers.

"How do you know my nick name?"

"Oh sorry, Crist use to talk about you all the time, and that's what he called you." Lucas responds.

"Oh that's ok, if Crist trust you then so do I."

"Yea, so why we wanted to talk about was Crist, but only if that's ok." Jeremiah begins.

Santana nods her head yes so he continues.

"Crist and I graduated military school together and then we shipped off to Fallujah together where we met Lucas. We were in the same company. It was hell over there and when you go through something like that together it connects you, and that's what it did to the three of us."

Lucas continues "Crist was like a brother to us and we just want to tell you how much we miss him and are so sorry that crash happened." Lucas finishes teary eyed.

Santana looks into the soldiers eyes and puts her hand over his and telling him. "It sucks now but I have to believe it will get better, that the pain will stop."

Lucas brings his hand to his face and wipes a stray tear. "Your right it's just I can't believe it, Crist is the best man I knew he was always so supportive."

"Yes …he was the best." Santana responds trying to keep her emotions in check, seeing a grown man cry is not easy.

"Listen san the reason we are here is because Crist would not want you to feel alone and I know you have your family ,but if you ever need anything or want to talk I want you to feel free to call me or Jeremiah. Here are our numbers.

Santana reaches out and takes the piece of paper Lucas hands to her.

"Thank you so much guys I will do that."

Jeremiah responds. "We both loved Crist; maybe we can find solace in his memory together."

"Crist was your brother just as he was mine wasn't he." Santana says

"Yes we are and now you can be like our little sister." Jeremiah

"Ok id like that." Santana says smiling.

"But I really have to get back to school before I'm late for glee club."

Lucas's eyes light up, "Glee club, I was in a glee club in high school to in Columbus I loved it. Crist told us about that from your letters."

"Really that's cool, Ya it's the best part of my school day, although it will probably be awkward today."

"Ya I know, but how about we escort you to class maybe they will tone it down if they see us walk you in." Lucas suggests.

"Yes let's do that." Santana smiles.

**Glee Club**

Just as everyone is taking their seats Jeremiah opens the door while Lucas escorts Santana in the room taking her to her seat quietly. Santana sits and smiles shyly to the members of the glee club including Britney who is sitting next to Artie by the drum set.

"We'll see you later Tana." Lucas says avoiding the confused glee club member's faces.

Lucas walks out the door and Jeremiah waves' goodbye to Santana from the door, she waves back smiling, and thinking to herself she may be alright after all.


	8. Chapter 8

A Fighters Heart- Chapter Seven

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**Authors note: Thank you for the reviews and follows.**

Lopez Home-Friday evening

Santana arrived home from school at home with her mother at 5:00 and is about to open the door when she sees a small package sitting buy the door. She picks it up and finds it is addressed to her, her mother comes from behind her.

"What's that Hun?"

"It's a package for me but I haven't ordered anything."

Maria takes the package.

"This is addressed from overseas; it's from Iraq military mail. Maybe it is one of your brother letters or something. Open it in your room it's to you…. go ahead, its ok."

Santana opens the door with her key and walks up the stairs into her room shutting the door. Santana sits on her bed with the small brown package. She takes a deep breath before she opens it. After a good five minutes she pulls open the packaging. A small note falls out. The note says "For Santana only" Santana continues pulling out stuffing and then a disk in a plastic case. Santana's forehead winkles as she says to herself. "A DVD what could be on here?" She opens the case and written on the top is "Play me from Crist." Santana sits the DVD down and goes to her desk to pick up her laptop. Turing it and then logging in she places the disk into the slot.

The DVD begins with a shaking out of focus image of the inside of a militarybarracks. Crist walks into view just as the image clears he is wearing his army camos and sits down on a stack of boxes in a corner. There are muffled voices in the background as Crist begins talking.

"Shut up you guys I'm working here" he says laughing lightly.

"Ok ok shut up guys." A faceless voice yells.

Christ looks directly at the camera.

"Hey Tana, I'm sending this now but it will probably come after I get home but I will say it anyway." So I got your letter Tana and I read it over and over again last night and I don't want you to be sad. Santana listen to me I love you and I want you to know that because you're a member of the L. G…"

Crist looks away from the camera to the left of it and mouths quietly, "what is it L. G… Oh"

"As I was saying, just because you're a member of the LGBT community doesn't mean I will love you any less Tana, if anything I realize just how amazing you are."

Looking straight into the camera lenses Crist continues." Santana I love you no matter who you love and just because its Brit, by the way do not think I won't be giving her the _Big Brother- don't break my little sisters heart warning _when I get back home." Also Tana I'm not the only one who thinks you're pretty amazing person, you got yourself a few Lezbros over here, isn't that right boys!

About five army men come running into frame while yelling "Hi Santana!" Each man takes their place besides and behind Crist and look into the camera. To Crist's left and right sit both Jeremiah and Lucas. Each man's face is lit up like a Christmas tree smiling. Then a few men then take turns talking to Santana.

Lucas begins. "Hey Santana my name is Lucas and I'm best friends with your brother and I also happen to be gay." She says smiling.

Another solider looks to the camera and speaks. "Hello Santana, my name is Cory Sutton and my grandmother was married to four men before she finally found the love of her life and was happy. Santana be true to who you are, do not let fear keep you from your happiness." Corry finishes with a small smile.

Crist looks at the camera and says, "Santana I love you and so do our parents, it may be a little difficult but you will never have to do it alone. Tana I trust these men with my life no matter what, just like I love you more than anyone else. I will always be here for you no matter what."

Crist looks to the men besides him and says "Thanks for coming guys."

Each man says no problem and looks to the camera again saying in unison "Stay strong Santana!"

Crist finishes. "I'll see you very soon Tana, I Love you."

Lucas gets up and turns off the camera.

The screen fades to black, as Santana stares at the screen motionless, tears flowing freely onto her laptop soaking the keyboard and her fingers. A knock at the door makes Santana jump and blink her eyes, she shakes her hands and face to try and wake herself from what feels like a dream. Her mother knocks.

"Santana are you ok baby, what was in the package?"

Santana lied. "Oh it was just an older letter that must have been lost in the mail… I'm kind of tired I think I will take a nap."

"Ok Hun I'll come check on you in about an hour before dinner, night babe."

"Thanks mom."

After hearing her mother walk away from the door Santana sits her laptop down on the bed, walks over to her makeup desk getting a few tissues, she blots the mascara from around her face. Then dry's the tears from her right arm and down her face on her chin and neck. The tears fell silently as she watched the film, drowning the pours of her skin in deadly waves that capture both the pain and love she felt in each word her brother spoke. Santana realized that she had to tell someone about this DVD to share her confusion. She thought to herself "Why is he gone?" "Why did this arrive now?" and "Maybe I am wrong and my parents will be supportive of this after all, but how can I know?" In that moment all she wanted more than anything was Britney's arms around her, to feel safe and loved, cocooned and protected similar to the way Crist made her feel. But was not ready for the conversation, Brittney deserved the world and not yet was Santana able to provide that for her.

Santana moved from her mirror to her bedside table and picked up her cell phone. She decided to call and invite Lucas to come over to talk and have dinner. Lucas accepted and stated he would be there in 20 minutes.

Lucas arrived at the Lopez home at 5:30 he pulled up to the door and knocked lightly. Mrs. Lopez came to the door and with a smile she greeted him. Lucas was wearing a tan Polo Ralph Lauren sweater vest over a button-down red dress shirt with tan khakis.

"Oh hey Lucas how are you?"

"Hello Mrs. Lopez, I'm doing well. I'm here to see Santana."

"Ok well come in I think she is in her room, but I thought she was napping."

"Umm she just called me about 20 minutes ago."

"Oh well she must have changed her mind then."

Mrs. Lopez escorted Lucas to Santana's room and found her door open, and Santana sitting on her bed.

"San you have a visitor."

"Oh, hi Lucas come in. Mom you remember Lucas, a friend of Crist's from the army and from the other day I invited him to dinner if that's ok."

"Oh of course yes yes. You both catch up and dinner should be done in just a little bit ok."

"Thank you Mrs. Lopez."

"Thanks mom."

Mrs. Lopez walked away and then Santana shut the door.

"Thanks for coming Lucas please sit down."

"Anytime thanks for having me san, I'm glad you called."

"Me too. Listen I got a package in the mail, this afternoon."

Lucas's eyes lit up and then his face fell a little.

"I had forgotten about that. The DVD right?"

"Yes the DVD. Lucas it was amazing I…I don't even know what to say.." Santana said tears threating to fall again.

"Let me Santana, here sit down."

Santana sits down next to him on her bed as he begins speaking.

"Crist received your last letter just a few days before we began packing up to come back home and the night he read it, he called me into his bunk and told me about it. Now he already knew that he loved you just as much as before he opened that letter. What he was struggling with was the fact that you were worrying and going through this alone and he could not be there with you right then. Soo I hatched an idea, I told him we should send you something, a show of support and acceptance, because I remember that that's all I wanted growing up was someone to tell me it was ok, that they loved me no matter what."

Santana wiped a single tear from her eye and responded to Lucas looking into his eyes.

"It helped so much and now it means more than you could ever know. Thank you Lucas. .. Thank you so much."

Lucas pulled Santana into a hug, holding her tightly against his strong chest, and let a silent tear slip from his eye saying. "Thank you San."

_**Authors note: Next chapter will be in two parts and Brittana heavy and happier I promise. Please Review. Thanks**_


	9. Chapter 9

A Fighters Heart- Chapter Eight Part one

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Authors note: Short but very important chapter. Thank you for the reviews and story favorites and alerts.

Lopez Home- Saturday Afternoon 2:00pm

Santana is at home studying in her room; on her laptop she opens the webpage of both Ohio state university and New York University. Santana realizes she has been struggling so long with her sexuality and her feelings for Britney that she has spent no other time devoted to who she wants to be in the future. But she guesses that makes since, I mean how can you make a good decision without knowing who you are? Santana ponders that question for a moment then asks herself another. Who am I when I am apart from Britney, I mean what do I enjoy?

Santana stands up and moves toward her bookcase along the parallel wall behind her and looks through her books. The Great Gatsby, Little Women, Brave New World, The Harry Potter series. Each of these books is about finding answers to life's questions and finding oneself.

Santana moves back to her chair and sits down frustrated she realizes she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life or where she wants to be in a year. The only thing she knows for sure is who she wants to be with her, Britney.

Santana picks up her cell phone trying to decide who to call Britney, (what would I say), Quinn (yea right you never know who you'll get, basket case, mother, or reliable friend, probably the first). Maybe Lucas, yes Lucas he's gay he's been through this maybe he can give me some advice about how to talk to Brittney.

Santana sends a text to Lucas:

[Hey are you busy?] Within a few minutes he texts her back.

(No I can talk, what's goin on?)

Santana wonders where to begin.

[So, did crist happen to tell you about my friend Brittney?]

(Yea, I think so… from the letter right?)

[Yes, yes from the letter. Well she is my best friend and last year I told her I was in love with her.]

(Well don't leave me hanging what did she say back?)

[She said she loved me to, more than anyone else in the world.]

(But?)

[But… I wasn't ready to come out then and she deserves better than that. So much better than that.]

( San, I can tell you love her because, despite the fact you Britney wants to be with you regardless, you realize she deserves the best from you.)

[Yes and I want to be able to take her on dates and show her off to my family and all the things couples do you know.]

(San I understand how difficult it is to come out, but I think that you should just be honest with Britney and tell her how you feel about her. San don't wait, we know life is short.)

[When I'm with Britney it's like my heart and soul surrender to her completely and it feels right.]

(When it feels that right, it can't be wrong. San surrender to Brittney tell her how you feel and the rest it will fall into place.)

[I'm going to do that, thank you Lucas.]

(Anytime San, good luck)

[Goodnight Lucas I'll talk to you soon ok?]

(You better and I want to meet this Britney.)

[You will, I promise.]

(Goodnight san.)

Santana closes her phone and walks over to her bookshelf once again. She searches for a while until she picks up a brown leather journal. Removing the magnetized lip she opens the book and stares into the blank pages, taking the book to her desk she sits down and begins to speak. "I'm done reading everyone else story, it's about time I started working on my own." Santana looks at herself in the mirror in front of her, her eyes slowly scanning the pictures that line the mirror she spots one of Crist. Smiling down at her; it is the first military picture Crist had taken after he graduated from the academy. She reaches her hand up and removes the picture, opens her journal and on the first page she places the picture down with a small piece of tape. Then next to the photograph she begins writing. Writing with a speed and fervor that she has never before written with, her thoughts drowning the pages and her mind unwinding. It is here that she finds solace for the person she's becoming and learns to let go of the one she left behind on that calm evening in October.

Authors Note: Brittana up next in Part two. Read and review


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